I could answer the question.  Even give a lengthy dissertation on the subject.  Really, I could.  But I don’t think that it would really be useful to anyone.  First, because in all honesty, you (guys, fella, men, dudes) don’t care.  Second, because most of you already know the answer to the question.  Remember, I told you before, I am not in the business of giving people what they do not want or what they cannot use.

Whenever someone broaches the subject of “why men lie”, there’s this inevitable backlash of “why women lie” comments.  “But women lie too!” you say.  “Oh really,” I say, “no shit, Sherlock.”  Each time some one hurls that question back at me (or whoever initiated a conversation about lying) it usually indicates that someone was offended by the conversation and has gone on the defensive because they know that I’m right.  Right?  Because really, if I address it and I’m wrong, you’ll simply say, “Boo you!  You’re wrong!”

I’ll be the first to admit that there are certain aspects of female deceit that get men on edge like paternity fraud or female infidelity or mismanagement of household finances.  Outside of these, women lying is hardly a phenomenon like men lying.  Anyone who would argue that point from the opposite position is, sadly, a liar. 

It is what it is.

The other day, my friend Jo said, “this is all fine and dandy but I’d rather read about ‘how do you get men to stop lying.’”  This is a fair question.  I suppose.  Problem is, as far as I know (and I don’t presume to know everything), you can’t.  There is no solution to this.  In fact, if someone had the solution, it wouldn’t be an issue, now would it?  (plus that person would be very wealthy)  Like many things in this world, things are what they are.  The sun comes up in the day, the moon comes out at night, Ronald McDonald is a clown, and men lie.  It’s life! 

I think instead of trying to fight against the tide we must come up with better solutions for how to handle the tide when it comes at us.  Am I going to throw a plate at a man’s head because he said he went to Target when he really went to Wal-Mart?  Hell no!  I won’t waste a good plate for that!  Good china is hard to come by.  Moreover, when he really tells a lie, like “the woman your friend saw me tongue-kissing the other day was my sister,” I won’t have any plates left to throw at him if I’ve broken all the plates trying to get to the bottom of whether his ass was at Wal-Mart or Target.  Get it?

You categorize the lie beforehand into two:  lies I can live with and lies I cant live with.  Take the lie on a case by case basis.  Put it in a category.  And handle it accordingly.  It ain’t Quantum Physics folks!

You fellas should be glad that for once somebody is saying “ladies, choose your battles” instead of “girl if he tell you any lie, leave his ass!”  If a woman walked out on you for every lie you told you’d be a lonely, horny, lying mofo.  Stop saying dumb shit like, “Well, why do women lie?”  Ask about something that might be useful to you like “Why do women like to fuss, argue, and nag?  How can I get my woman to shut up?”  I can give you reasons and solutions for that all day long.

Because the truth is:  you don’t care if women lie because you’re not asking her anything that’ll prompt her to lie.  You don’t care about what we saw, who we saw, what we ate, and whether we went to Wal-Mart or Target.  Long as we’re not screwing anyone else, you’re happy.  Right?