I already told you how I feel about cheating and adultery in these articles, “Open Marriage” and “Marriage: Adultery, Part I.” I also discussed how I feel about dating, “sisterhood”, and female solidarity in this article, “Comment to the Comment.”
Now that Fantasia is embroiled in this adultery scandal and was driven to the point of attempting suicide, I feel like maybe I should address this aspect a bit more, even though I already touched on it before.
Why Fanny, Why?
If you get busted cheating, the best course of action is to fess up and move on. If you were stupid or sloppy enough to get caught, you’re going to have to pay the consequences. I don’t know about you but i don’t like paying for shit. But, if I do have to pay for anything, I want to pay as little as possible. Mitigate your damages by fessing up quickly and correcting it wherever you can because after you get busted for cheating and you lie about it, believe me, next, you’re going to get busted for lying about cheating which is way worse.
I don’t believe that Fantasia was misled about the state of this man’s marriage. She may have been initially, but as soon as she noticed that she couldn’t have as much access to him as she would have liked, she had to know that something was up. The wife had already spilled the beans to the press several months ago and once the blogosphere got hold of it, she should’ve quickly surrendered. But no. That’s not what we do. We think we’re smarter than our captors or that we can get away with it or buy time. You cannot. If you cheat (or if you are involved in any situation like this) you will lose, lose, lose.
What bothers me the most is the idea that Fantasia thought that this was worth dying over even though she has a nine-year old daughter. Not cool, Fantasia. Not cool at all. I wish her the best and I hope that she’ll use better judgment next time.
btw: the wife, Paula Cook, needs to get a damn life. Save the time, energy, and the public humiliation of this thing and accept that your husband is a snake. The women always get the short end of this stick. The woman was cheated on, and Fantasia was (allegedly) lied to. The only person who had any full knowledge of the whole thing is the man and now the women are going to duke it out in court? For a man who’s not worth it? It makes no sense. Now that we live in this blog frenzy age, I’m finding that jilted wives have been using the media as an avenue to get revenge on “other women” who happen to be celebrities by attaching themselves to the celebrities’ name. How pathetic!!! I’m sorry, but to me, there’s nothing sensational or remotely newsworthy about being cheated on. That shit happens to everybody! These women (siovaughn wade, mashonda, paula cook, etc.) need to respect themselves, grieve in private, and move on with their lives. [* Note: not saying there's anything worthy or virtuous about being "the other woman", we'll deal with them later]
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“All Paula Cook wanted was to have a happy life with husband Antwaun and their children – but her husband’s alleged affair with Fantasia Barrino ruined all that, according to Paula’s attorney. “She is saddened and disheartened by the end of her marriage,” divorce attorney Tamela Wallace tells PEOPLE. “She’s embarrassed, and humiliated and distressed by the lack of respect that was shown for her marriage by Ms. Barrino.” “It’s that kind of brazen behavior that Mrs. Cook has had to endure for the last 11 months, until June of this year,” Wallace says. “This is something that has caused her emotional distress, pain, anguish.”
According to court documents, Paula had planned a wedding anniversary trip to New Orleans for herself and her husband Antwaun, and ended up going alone. While she was there, she was informed that her husband was having an affair with Barrino. “She wanted nothing more than to have a happy family with her husband and her children. And she’s not been able to do that,” Wallace says. Her attorney describes Paula, a special education teacher at a local high school, as “just the quintessential soccer mom.”
Wallace wouldn’t confirm that her client might sue Barrino, 26, under the much talked about “home wrecker” law. But, she says, her client is “weighing her options.” Morris called the so called “home wrecker” laws “a comical irony … because they arise out of laws when women were property of men.”
Paula’s lawyer emphasizes that her client is a private citizen who didn’t ask for her husband’s affair to make national news. “The only mistake she made was marrying a man who Ms. Barrino felt like she was entitled to have,” Wallace says. “She is having to defend her marriage, when she didn’t ask for this.”
Related posts
- Reading: "He Cheated, She Stayed: One Woman's True Story of Getting Over Infidelity"
- A Comment to the Comment
- From the New York Times:: Adultery in the Marital Bed
- Don't try this at home: Suing Your Husband's Mistress
- Dating Myth: "Let a Man Be a Man!"
